So recently an engineering job in the company i work for came up, 2 in fact, 1 permeant and 1 seconded job. Now this is an aspect of my job i love, its very technical and challenging and i do a very good job at it at a very difficult cinema to the point im asked to do things you would expect an engineer to do. The day i write this blog would be a day just like that as we test equipment that could save millions a year, an engineer could not make it so they ask me, and guess what i aced it.
So the job came up during a very busy time, but i didn’t lose focus on the job i have now and made sure it came first. So had presentation, interview and a 2 hours written assessment. I didn’t find anything to difficult and thought it went really well and it turns out it did, i still didn’t get the job.
I went for a job 2 years a go that i have to say i would have liked but didnt want to move on, with this in mind i was a little down i didnt get it, i think its the thought that you were not good enough for a job you know you could do was the thing that got me down, i was kind of prepared for something like this but i was not expecting what happened this time.
The jobs had come about as one person has left and someone else is taking some time off, both people are based in the south and im in the north, i had made the decision that i would not move and this is down to love, i had the opportunity to move from a job that payed me money to a job that i loved and felt valued in the work i put in, my girl friend is at this point and there are sometimes in your life where the things that make you are happy is the happiness in others, this is that time.
At my interview i made this clear and was happy to hear that the advent for the job was nation and where i lived was fine. Great i hear, so the presentation went fine and i managed (in 1st time of the whole 15 years of my working life) to do it in the time asked, the interview went very well and i had no big problems in the assessment.
I got the call to day to say i had not got it, i thought i was a very strong candidate and it turn out i was but still didn’t get it. The reasoning behind this was “We had an opportunity in the south to good to pass up”, well thats ok as there were 2 jobs going i hear you all cry from the end of you trackpad. This would have left the seconded position open. I worked for 2 years in a seconded position and it does not scare me, if it didn’t last i would be going back to a job i love anyway, I was told that it would be difficult to replace me in my job in a seconded role as they would need someone with a high level of skill to match the work i do who they may not get not advertising for a permanent position.
Personally i read all this as, We are going to fix a problem in the south by giving this bloke the job and its not worth the hassle in seconding someone in a job you do too well, i was told im a vicim on my own success.
Now lets cut to the chase, Fucked off is the 2 words i would use to describe my feelings at the moment, what advice could i take from this feedback, become shit at my job then im not to difficult to replace? Become a problem where it would be easier for everyone that they just game me the job? How ever much anger would be the fuel in the decision making i may go through in the next few days its just not built in to my core as a human being to be like this, may be this is foolish and its the shitty people who get what they set out for but no poor decision made by someone else will ever make me like this.
As for the future who knows, i think just getting the next few weeks out of the way is 1st on my list with maybe a holiday.
To Quote the film Crash “Fuck you very much”