Long time but needed

its has been some time since I have blogged, I did actually start it all off many years ago to work through some stuff in my life, well not trying to be the person who is all take but it’s needed again.

I have a friend, this is a real person and not a alter ego who is actually me, the friend I met many years ago, about 13 year ish but I didn’t met him as a friend at the time, I eet him as my boss.

It was 2001 and I had just got a new job, it was a big step up at the time and with a new job you get a new boss, now this guy was a little scary, he towered over everyone, he was not scared to speak his mind any by god if you crossed him you were in for it, that’s the first impression you got, no bull shit,  don’t fuck up.

Now I had about 9 years working under him and I can tell you that first impression is not really the hart and soul of the guy. He would notice something was up with you and stay a few hours after he should have gone home to make sure you were ok, he would go out of his way for a practical joke and would be more than happy to remind you of it for many years to come (I still get to re-live mine), he would always help not matter how small or big the problem and be it work or personal. He listened, and I really mean listened and would always ask months later about things you had talked about, I have never really known a person like this before.

I have now moved on to better and bigger things and I can say with zero hesitation this would not be the case it is was not for my friend.

Notice how I say friend and not old boss, well that’s becasue he was there for me when I needed a friend, and always has been even though we don’t see each other very often, we have our little rituals now like a phone call to the other when they are having a sandwich at Dunlin airport (best airport sandwich BTW) or a chance phone call when calling another site. 
So the reason behind the post? 

He had a stroke a few weeks ago, at the time they drop words like “Mild Stroke” and “he is awake” and you start to fall in to what I like to think of as “it’s just a cold, you’ll get better”.

When we get a cold what happens? You get to the low point and then you start to get better, it’s not a stupid mind set to treat all illness like this but I have started to find out this is not the case in matter like this. 

Over the past 3/4 weeks we have switched from the initial shock of the stroke to he is awake to brain bleed to feeding tube bring removed and then to today, today is when the doctors could really give a good assessment, that turned out to be a servere stroke and lucky to be alive.

It’s kind of rock bottom, even though it’s been the 3rd time I have through “this is rock bottom” it really is, now i’m hearing “good chance of another stroke” and “unlikely to survive another stroke” and it’s hard to digest, they are also battling other medical complications and it’s a very fine balancing act to try and rehabilitate to lessen the chance of problems later from the stroke (and it is something that has to be started very quickly) and keep him as safe as possible.

This guy is 52, he has an amazing wife and 3 wonderful children. 

“The road to recovery is based on the person”

One of the doctors dropped this line, it’s make  sense when you think about it, like most things in life, the harder you work at it the better the result, this made me worry less as this guy does not stop, at all, for any reason to do something, anything. I guess he just needs the chance to try.

As with anyone out there we just want to fix things, when all you can do is wait it is hard, in a bid to keep busy I took it on myself to keep people informed, when speaking to his wife no one wants to ask the hard questions so I said I would pass along the information as it comes in, now I know this guy, he is a likeable person but fuck me I was blown away how many people contact me asking to be added to the update list, I that alone speaks to the person he is. 

The other reason i’m awake and typing in to my iPhone (sorry for spelling and fat thumbs) is I have been having nightmares, for about the past 3/4 weeks now, nightmares I wake from and remember all the details and don’t really leave me for a good few days now, I have never had this, not on such a regular basis now. It’s a safe bet to say it’s all liked.

I’m going to visit him in the specialist unit at the weekend, visitation is very restricted so i’m lucky to be allowed, i’m sure that will add to this stress but I just want him to know i am there for him, for him and the things he worries about, he wife and kids.

It’s funny, he is the guy I would call when trying to deal with something like this, he is the guy most people would call.

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